Alzheimer's: Goldie's Love
I'd like to introduce you to the first person who loved me, Dr. Goldie Royal. My mother Goldie was born in a small town called Mt. Enterprise, TX in 1933. She is the daughter of James and Elnora Royal.
When she was born, her grandmother, Bloomie Mae, was the nurse/midwife, which was not uncommon in the '30s. Growing up in East Texas in the depression I am certain contributed to my mother's ability to thrive with excellence throughout her life and career.
Growing up I recall my mother being exceptionally well-groomed and stylish. As a child that grew up during the great depression, which taught her early on how to survive with less. Mother was able to blend her sense of style with the ability to stretch a dollar as an instructor at Bates Technical College. Each year she put on an annual fashion show to teach the office occupation students how to not only be great employees but also how to dress professionally on a modest income.
Mother Goldie
When I look back on my mother's many accomplishments one thing has been constant. Mother is a life learner, doer, and teacher. Goldie has shown my entire family how to stay firm in difficult situations to achieve long-term goals. Alzheimer's has been no different. After her original diagnosis, mother knew she had to continue to exercise her brain. Alzheimer's was not going to deter her from starting her Ph.D. program and finishing it.
True Grit
As far back as I can remember mom was always teaching others and serving in the church all the while maintaining a household and raising four girls as a single mom. One would think her plate was full. Not the case for my mother Goldie. She had true grit before grit was a "thing".
While raising her girls, and working full-time (often 2 jobs), mom simultaneously took classes achieving two bachelor's, a master's degree. In 2007, at the age of 72, my mother received her Ph.D. in Ministerial Studies, which is impressive at any age. In looking back, I strongly believe her desire to learn extended her cognitive health.
Missing the Signs
My sisters and I were like most families. We were unaware of the early signs of memory loss, cognitive impairment, dementia or Alzheimer’s disease because we assumed whatever we were seeing was just normal aging or a variety of other explanations we had.
I remember one of my last trips home to visit mom in Washington was very different. Mom was eager to come back with me to Arizona, not the norm as she had such strong roots in our hometown Tacoma. I noticed, what I now know to be "sundowning", this is when mom would get caught in a loop, telling the same stories over and over within minutes. I didn't need to see or hear anything more. The go-getter in me packed a few bags for mom and we were off to my home in Arizona.
Shortly after returning to Phoenix, we went through a battery of tests that put all questions to rest. My mother has Alzheimer's! I had assumed the responsibility of the caregiver not knowing the wonderful, painful, journey I was embarking on.
Every Day is Precious
As her daughter and primary caregiver, I felt isolated at times. I was one of those daughters that refused to have her go into a facility. Sure, I was around other people, but mom and I spend precious time alone together daily. Over the years our verbal conversations have become less as her ability to put together long sentences is a struggle, we continue to enjoy unspoken love through touch, food, and changing outfits.
It is hard to think for two, love enough for two, and try to stay in the moment without worrying about the next day, week, or year. But each day mom has a smile that lights up the room and my day. This journey has taught me to stay in the moment and know that each moment is precious.
Alzheimer's and Women
Mother Goldie fit the statistics perfectly, displaying signs around 65. Although as mentioned earlier we missed them initially. Almost two-thirds of Americans with Alzheimer's are women. Of the more than 5 million people age 65 and older with Alzheimer's in the United States, 3.6 million are women. A woman's estimated lifetime risk of developing Alzheimer's at age 65 is 1 in 5. These numbers are staggering.
Help Fight Alzheimer's
Join the movement! To learn how you can change the numbers for future generations get updates, research, and resources from your local Alzheimer's Association or visit Banner Alzheimer's Institute.
References:
Women and Alzheimer's: https://www.healthline.com/health-news/are-women-more-likely-to-get-alzheimers-than-men